a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you’re drunk:

a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transubstantiate

Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you’re drunk:

a) Thanks, but I don’t want to sleep with you.
b) Nope, no more booze for me.
c) Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
d) No kebab for me, thank you.
e) Good evening officer, isn’t it lovely out tonight?
f) I’m not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn’t – no one wants to hear me sing.
h) Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no co-ordination. I’d hate to look like a fool.
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.

drink beer and be happy

Robbed while playing Solitaire at work, duh!

I find it truly amazing how many people I find playing solitaire. So here are my top 10 reasons they play it:

1. I’m bored
2. I think no one is watching
3. My managers are lousy supervisors
4. The IT  dept forgot to remove it on install
5. My other choice was to text my “Fav’s” all day
6. Solitaire is sooooo Coool Man.
7. Why work when no one is watching me.
8. Mindless job, mindless game.
9. When I click these little cards they move… Isn’t that cool
10. I cannot install World of War Craft.

Reprint of a story found on http://www.re-nest.com/re-nest/insects-pests/fruit-fly-death-trap-055578

Fruit fly killer (Ohhhh Yeaaaa)

It’s easy to make your own: just roll a piece of paper into a cone, pour some apple cider vinegar or put a piece of ripe banana in the bottom of a glass or jar, insert the paper cone, and wait.

(Oh yeah, and get rid of the ripe or rotten fruit that’s attracting the fruit flies. You can cut off and compost any softened sections, wash the rest thoroughly, and use it. We made cobbler.)

The first time we saw one of these contraptions, we didn’t know what it was. Was it an oddly misplaced piece of paper? Or a twee, delicious drink? So we made a self-explanatory version, complete with tombstone to commemorate the dear departed.

How sad is Jim Delacy... Very Sad indeed.

So the sun was shining, my two kids were bopping to the music in the back seat of the F150 super cab. Even our dog Guinness seemed to be having the time of his life. We were on our way back from Batavia. We were on our way back from picking up little Kevin’s brand new bike. We were listening to Peter Gabriel’s Sledgehammer on the radio and life was Awesome..

At least until the police siren went off.

Immediately I look down at the odometer, 54MPH not bad. Where am I and what the crap is the speed limit here.

Well, as it turns out is was 35.. at least for the past 100 yards. This was one of the best speed traps I have ever seen…
-speed zone sign
-35 mph sign

All in 50 yards of each other and RIGHT there is the cop from hell…

As it turns out it is Jim Delacy’s son, the most miserable son of a gun you could possibly know.. Even my dad (lord rest his soul) thought he was a shmuck and he loved everyone.

By the time it was over, the kids were crying, Mary was smirking and I just fumed, because this was the first ticket I had in 10 years… Crap…
town of Corfu 1, Leigh family zero.