
Kevin Mary Noel Alex and Kevin 2.0
George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die
and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is
for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When
he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so
Putin writes him a check.
Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30
minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6
million dollars, so she writes him a check.
Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours.
When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.
When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil
why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.
The devil smiles and replies: “Since Obama took over, the
country has gone to hell, so it’s a local call.”
Very well stated, Mr. Leno .
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE
60′s and 70′s!!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn’t get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered
with bright colored lead-base paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes,
we had baseball caps
not helmets on our heads.
As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.
Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes made with Lard, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank FLAV-OR- AID made with real white sugar.. And, we weren’t overweight. WHY?
Because we were always outside playing…..that’s why!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on..
No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were OKAY.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps
and then ride them down the hill,
only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem
We did not have Play stations, Nintendo’s and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD’s,
no surround-sound or CD’s,
no cell phones,
no personal computers,
no Internet and no chat rooms.
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We would get spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping pong paddles, or just a bare hand and no one would call child services to report abuse.
We ate worms and mud pies
made from dirt, and
the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.
Those who didn’t had to learn
to deal with disappointment.
Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best
risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. What can kids today do besides push buttons.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
If YOU are one of them, CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.
While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were.
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn’t it ?
Excerpt from an e-mail i received today, from a close friend>>Funny and Sad at the same time.
Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel ” pick up your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land”.
Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, “Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land”.
Now Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels, and mortgaged the Promised Land!
I was so depressed last night thinking about health care plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, social security, retirement funds, etc.
So, I called Lifeline, the suicide help line. Got a freakin’ call center in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they all got excited and asked if I could drive a truck…
Most People Have A.D.D.
—
Adventure deficit disorder